The Worst

It’s not just the terrible, the horrible, the miserable
Feeling that pins me to my self-proclaimed
Desolation and hopelessness
It’s more than being sad
It’s more than normal and
It’s more than unbearable guilt and
A self-defeatist attitude
My own pair of cement boots
Broken down
Just to build up a greater wall
A taller wall
A stronger wall
So I can crumble less conspicuously
But you wonder why I love the darkness
You’d rather draw back the blinds
Saying even twilight is brighter
Than the dank dungeon I live in
There’s no cry for help because that requires
Laying blame
Putting others out and
Admitting the worst:
The end looks brighter than the middle.

My favorite part about this poem is that I included this quote right after it:
“Up yours. Stop your whining. Yea, fuck your suicide. I know it’s bullshit ‘cuz I tried; and it really don’t impress me all that much…” I love those goos.